Softball - Week 5 Recap

[Dirty Moose]

WARNING - This recap is rated TVMA, for mature audiences only and TVROO, really offensive and obnoxious.


Man, we really kicked the crap out of Your Mom. Your Mom couldn't score, or even reach the Big Sac, for three innings. Everyone of the GJs scored on Your Mom at least once, some as many as 3 times. Man was Your Mom easy to score on. Some said they stroked the big stick all night with Your Mom. Others said they got all sweaty playing the field with Your Mom.
Someone congratulated DJ for playing solid defense on the hot corner. DJ responded, "Ya, I got a lot of action over there. "Someone then said, "It's not often you hear about DJ getting a lot of action." And then someone slammed it home with, "Only when he's playing with Your Mom."
Still others commented that, "Your mom is so fat when she wears a Malcolm X shirt, she has helicopters landing on her back!" and "Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way." and I'll let you scour the forum for the real gems I couldn't bear put in here.
Most of you already know, or have figured out by now that we played a team called "Your Mom". For those of you that haven't, get you minds out of the gutters. You are sick, really really sick. Get some help.

1 2 3 4 5 R H
GEORGE JETSONS 5 0 8 1 2 16 20
YOUR MOM 0 0 9 0 0 9 -


Oh right, we played a softball game. Hmmm, let me try and remember what happened.

In the first inning the GJs jumped all over YM scoring 5 times right off the bat, nearly batting around. In the top of the third they did bat around and scored 8 runs with the help of an Uncle Pappy HR and a Pancreas 2B. The GJs then held YM hitless until the bottom of the third inning when a laser shot just about biopsy'd our Big Sac. Although, Uncle Pappy disputes the scorer's decision of a hit and claims all runs for the inning were unearned. Don't tell him we don't keep pitching stats. Either way the screaming meemie at Big Sac was about the most viscous hit I've seen at Gilruth, it was really shilalied (everyone that was there, play along with me). So that opened up a 9 run 3rd that included about 6-7 other errors leading to YM scoring on us 9 times. Ouch! But the GJs recovered and shut YM down the rest of the way. The GJ offense produced 16 runs in all and cruised to a relatively easy victory despite the 9 run debacle in the 3rd. every GJ had at least one hit and scored at least 1 run. That's a team effort! The MVJ has to go to our Uncle Pappy, Norm. A single away from the cycle, Norm drove in 5 runs, 3 of which were on a _______ (A. Monstrous HR over the RC fence. B. Shot in the RC gap that was bobbled C. A lazy fly ball to RF who lost it in the sun and it hit him in the head, rendering him unconscious while Norm glided around the bases).



Sorry, no funny name jokes for this game...

1 2 3 4 5 6 R H
CLUTCH HITTERS 1 2 0 3 0 0 6 -
GEORGE JETSONS 11 4 1 0 0 0 16 20




The clutch hitters have given the GJ's trouble in the past (most notably in Season 12, where the GJs lost twice to them and missed the playoffs for the first time since Season 6), but once again, due to a great team effort, everyone getting at least one hit and one run scored, the GJs made it a yawner. The GJs again jumped out in front scoring 11 runs in the first inning sending 14 GJs to the dish. It would have went on longer if Dirty didn't make the second AND third outs in the inning. I know what you're thinking, pretty impressive huh? The GJs were then on cruise control the rest of the way. Even with their most dangerous and feared hitter out of the lineup due to a horrific joke accident. See DJ thought the GJs were still playing Your Mom and dropped yet another Your Mom joke. The second he let it go he tried to take it back, he did it so quickly and forcefully he slipped on an Iron City Beer bottle cap and blew out his hammy (at least that's the conclusion my brain came to on the information I had available, which was none). It was indeed a severe blow to the morale of the team, losing their biggest power threat. However to DJ's credit, or more precisely, DJ's intestinal fortitude, he gutted out a visually painful inning at catcher and and even more excruciating at bat where he singled and made it to base about 20 minutes later. For this above and beyond the call of duty to the Gilruth DD rec softball league, DJ gets the Jesse "The Body" Ventura, "Ain't Got Time to Bleed" Award. This comes with an autographed Jesse "The Brain" Ventura action figure and a slightly used copy of Predator. I was going to give a split MVJ to Nelson and Medina, just to see if the Database could handle it, but I decided to give it outright to Medina for batting 1.000 on the night and pulling the weight of the bottom of the order batting anchor man.


Game Night Report
http://www.gjsoftball.net/gamenight.php?nightid=96

Season Stats
http://www.gjsoftball.net/season.php?seasonid=14



The GJ's get back to work on Tuesday at 8pm against the smaSHErs, where they can clinch 1st place, and their first 10 win regular season. No pressure boys. If everyone performs like they did this week, with the batting order getting it done top to bottom, there will be nothing to worry about. Then it's the revenge game against Delta Force, who soiled the GJs perfect record back in week 4. Again, if the bats stay consistent and don't go comatose again, the GJs should handle them easily. So fans, come out and cheer on your GJ's to their best season in franchise history, and propel them into the playoffs!

[Fence]

I'd have to agree with the selection of El Jefe as MVJ for game 2 based on this funny sceen.

Nomar standing on first yelling at Big Sac about how he screwed him by not hustling home to chalk up the RBI for George. I don't know what was more funny, the thought of Big Sac actually hustling home or George seemingly forgetting that the ball had just hit the right fielder right in the palm and he still got a hit. You really did get screwed on that one...